A couple of days ago I have talked about “important things”… what does really matter to you? Why would you say it is so? How often the importance of “things” is changing?
I have realized that my priorities change quite frequently and although I have not found a distinctive pattern to it yet, I can guess why it has become so. I got wiser of course!
Pfff! I don’t think that, that is it though.
In all genuine seriousness, when I had dreams of – whatever, I would focus on only that and decide which action to take so that my step would face towards these dreams. Simple enough! Very self-conscious too…
Strangely, it has not been so for a while – or is it… strange I mean? Each time I try refocusing so that my feet will be turned to the fixed goal, the goal changes. I do not talk about dreams anymore… would that be an “age” thing? When one gets closer to ones forties one does not wish to jinx any hopes (& dreams) so one talks of goals or projects (as French artist Bénabar does on his latest album).
Ask me what my dreams are and I am pretty sure that I will not be able to answer you, unless my better-half is included in them. I do not have selfish dreams anymore… good, bad, or just unconscious denial? I’ll think about that another time.
Anyway, the thing is that no matter how good I am at setting my priorities straight, I cannot seem to stick to them. It is pretty trying after a while and I start then wondering if there is something wrong with me… but there is nothing wrong with you…
Life has a particularly nasty habit – as I said before – of being extremely messy and it is because of us “humans” that it is so. We are being used people… I am telling you! We do not even know it, nor suspect the reasons behind such manipulation. Well, of course, being a supreme madly intelligent She-writer, I can safely state that it is all about “Conspiracy Theory”.
Life is the mastermind behind itself and there is squat we can do about it.
