Category: Neurotic Diary of Hope


- Who said that?

- Hmm, did you notice?

- What?

- This is the second day in a row we do that… today, YOU did it and yesterday…

- Oh, my…YOU did. This is no good, she’s going to be real mad.

- Yep… let’s say it together on three…

- One,

- Two,

- Three

- GOOD EVENING READERS!

- Better! Now, you were asking about someone who said something.

- Talking about the title.

- What about it?

- “Perfect World-Reality”, seriously, who came up with that?

- Were you asleep when I read you the comments for Day 5?

- Nooooo…

- What are you babbling about then?

- Have you ever heard of rhetoric?

- Are you sure that you’re a guy?

- Sshh! Listen. You are a figment of my imagination and I am of yours… at the same time, we are her own creation and yet we live on the Internet – the virtual world, and in her head – the real yet, not so real, world.

- Your point being?

- We are already in the “perfect world-reality“.

- Except for the fact that we’re not real so there is no reality for us; we have no corporal consistence,  in other words: we do not exist.

- We talked about that before but anyway… No, you are missing it… the” perfect world-reality” is imagination itself.

- That’s not a world and besides, that’d be cheating if it even counted.

- Well, I am sure Clark would not contradict the Catscious… or at least not entirely. Imagination comes from “image”… our moods change when things around change, so is imagination and by extension the “perfect world-reality” to be created – through inner-images… that world would be in constant evolution.

- What’s the difference with the real world then?

- You don’t get it…

- I don’t?

- This blog is the “perfect world-reality” for you and I…

- And her…

- Obviously… now, as long as she lends us her fingers to type us, we do exist here.

- Yeah?

- Since, this blog is read, we do also exist out there.

- Yes, but what is out there? Internet, other blogs, other people and therefore other imaginations with other worlds to create. What makes it real so that we can say that it is? What makes it exist?

- The “perfect world-reality”…  what? Now wait a minute, I am getting confused…

- I say! Yet, YOU started this!

- Actually, I did not… Clark from The Wakefield Doctrine did. Thanks a lot buddy!

- Aha! Busted!

- Huh?

- You asked who came up with this “Perfect World-Reality” but you knew from the start…

- Again… rhetoric…

- You knocked us down with this one; next time I pick the subject.

- Yeah, yeah! Say “Good night Gracie!”

- This’s getting old…

- Pfff!

- There is something really weird going on where I live…  people are bumping into one another without even saying “excuse me!”

- You’re right, they’d rather say “excuse you!”… ingrates.

- Have you noticed how loud they laugh?

- Yes, especially when we swing by… what’s that all about, do you think?

- Not a clue.

- This is getting frustrating because I cannot hear myself thinking anymore. I mean, we have to move along and get it done. The problem is that we have no way of knowing what that is.

- Are you kidding me? We do know what THAT is but I am not even sure there is a word in our limited vocabulary to describe THAT. This is really out of this world.

Image via Wikipedia- Now you are really pulling my leg…

- You don’t have any.

- W’a…

- I mean you have no substance.

- Y’a…

- I mean that you have no matter.

- Bitc…

- I mean that you don’t exist.

- Okay, that’s it. I’m through… Ma’am! Hallo, Ma’am… shut her up or I won’t come back.

- You’re so sensitive.

- You’re attacking me; how am I suppose to react?

- Okay, all right! I am sorry Catscious. Jeez, you’ve lost your sense of humor my friend.

- Oh now, I am your friend. You are so mean…

- What were we talking about before your tantrum?

- My…

- Come on. What was it?

- Nothing.

- Sure we were.

- I’m not kidding. We were saying absolutely nothing and now the reader is thinking that we are completely mad.

-  Oh, but we are my delicious Catscious… we are completely demented.

- Yes, yes… and still, we were and are saying nothing.

- I remember now! We noticed that they laugh very loud.

- Who’s laughing?

- Them.

- Yes dear, but who’s THEM.

- The important ones… the ones that tell stories, or play in verses…

- Words?

- No, silly… THEM, you know… the others.

- Ooh! Them… WHO ARE THEY?

- The readers know I am sure…

- Dear reader… Hope says that you have to take a poll or a walk… now be gentle, it is not nice to scare the Hope away so we’ll see if you followed our nonsense.
-  Please take the poll.

- They got that…

- Pfff!

- Say good night Gracie!

- “Good night Gracie.”

Good Afternoon Reader,

My neurosis have awoken and it seems that they are pretty mad at me. Do not ask me! I have done nothing to deserve their wrath. Hope and Catscious… my ‘me’ and my ‘myself’… know more about yours truly and need to let it out. I am not in control any more, therefore, let’s the crazy talks begin.

- Time flies when one has fun…
- She’s been writing her fantasy away without giving us a single thought.
- Yet, we remain; stuck in there forever.
- I don’t know about you, but I have felt a bit left out these days.
- You talk about days, last time she let us talk was in June. Seriously man! You could make an effort and share your time between your fantasies and your thoughts.
- Do you think she’ll answer you? I mean it is pretty obvious what she is doing.
- Really? Why don’t you explain it to me Hope, because all wise that I am supposed to be, I do not get it. I thought she liked us!
- She is looking for it, the big E.
- What’s that?
- You know, the big fat one that presumably all artists are after.
- Spill it out, I am no good at guessing games.
- Eternity.
- Huh?
- I’ve heard her think about it so many times. It is simple really but I need to go on a bigger scale…
- Go on then!
- Her species: mankind, just like any other species has the goal of perpetrating itself; however, unlike other species, mankind does not always answer to biology so, what do they have left to remain?
- You skipped a step…
- Perpetuation ensures the survival of the species, therefore the species does not die; perpetuation through reproduction equals immortality, equals eternity.
- And?
- What happens when for one particular individual, perpetuation is not an option? – whatever the reason.
- Ooh! I get it; you are talking about the need to leave something behind.
- Yes! Something that will show to future generations – and else – that one has been part of this world; that one has left a mark. Such a need answer to the need of survival, in other words, the need for eternity.
- So, back to Earth and her… what?
- She read a quote from James Joyce when she travel to Dublin that said:

<< I’ve put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that’s the only way of insuring one’s immortality. >> 

- Is she trying to be a new James Joyce?
- No, silly! She was just so inspired by these words that she found a new truth in it. Ultimately, it gave her what she needed to make the most drastic step in her creative writing.
- So, she is NOT looking for eternity with her work; is that what you mean?
- I don’t know.
- What? What have you been babbling about then?
- Just crazy talks I guess.
- No fair!
- Now, now… calm yourself Catscious. What does your wisdom tell on the matter?
- Everybody knows by now that I am not that wise… anyway, I’d say that she is writing because she can and through this, without my involvement, is unconsciously seeking  eternity. Is it a good thing? I actually don’t give a damn.
- Oh, that is indeed elegant language!
- Bite me!

- Do you think…
- What?
- Well, when someone is looking for a way to remain it usually means that they are afraid to die.
- Hmm. Nope, that’s not it.
- What is it then?
- Oh figure it out and keep it PRIVATE when you do…

- Will do. So, seeking eternity has just become a sport and we are no good to her to that effect; is that so?
- Could be, or NOT. Seriously Hope, what’s gotten into you? You’re no fun to mess with today.
- I am jealous you big buffoon!
- Not after today, you won’t be.
- That’s real bad English you’re talking…
- Again… bite me you crazy, hopeless witch.
- Why can I not be jealous?
- Because we have as many parts as the ‘Queen of Fools‘ now: three!
- Actually, we’ve got four but who’s counting…What about the letters?
- They don’t count. Now, say ‘good night Gracie’
- Good night Gracie!
- Pfff!

The video is from Karmakanic 2008 album ‘Who’s the boss in the factory‘. The song is called Eternally Pt 2 and interpreted by Swedish amazing singer Göran Edman.
‘Me, Myself and I’ nearly cry every time we listen to this… but it is so beautiful… hence the sharing.

Good morning reader,

- I have been pondering over life for, probably all my life and I will, for sure, go on doing so for the rest of it too. The thing is that there are ‘things’ that I am not comfortable with, and I like it that way. I mean to talk about ‘spiritual and philosophical’ concepts here, because I do not condone the world.

- What? This is the stupidest statement I have ever heard! How can you not?

- I did not mean it like that.

- So say what you mean, why don’t you!

- I do not condone what ‘her’ species has done to the world…

- Yes, yes. We talked about that the other day.

- Okay, moving on. ‘She’ has been reading weird articles a few months back and as part of ‘her’, I’ve got a glimpse of a very strange universe, to which ‘she’ – therefore you and I – are supposed to belong and to which I feel particularly estranged.

- First of all, stop mentioning ‘her’, the reader knows we are ‘her’ by now so stand up for YOUR opinion…

- Fair enough…

- Second of all, would you care developing?

- Obviously I would, wouldn’t I? I’d not start babbling in the first place otherwise, now would I.

- So you say…

- Anyway, everything started when I began thinking existentialism or something of the sort.

- Big word…

- Yes! And what it all means, you know, life… us and our purpose. By the by, remind me later about ‘everything is connected’.

- Will do.

- As I was saying, I think all the time about life, from one point of view to another, and my thoughts on it grow but never really change nor get any closer to an answer.

- Bummer.

- One would think so but, I am starting to suspect that I will never get one and more importantly, that I am not supposed to anyhow…which, is fine by me I might add.

- If you say so…

- Hmm. All in all, I always end up wondering about God at some point.

- Like I didn’t see that one coming…

- Oh, shut it! This reminds me of French artist Michel Berger who said in one of his songs: ‘If God does not exist, the bastard’. Sometime later, he was forced to explain himself for shocked fans and said what he really meant: ‘If God does not exist, he really is a bastard.’ (Original quote is in French and from the song ‘Mandoline’ – 1983 – WEA)

- Interesting idea.

- I think so too and I have pondered over his/her existence for a long time.

- Have you come to know more then?

- I have not and I am not sure anyone should either; you know with what they call freewill and all. Regardless, it almost feels like an irrefutable truth that one should not even try and prove it right or wrong. In other words, it just is and one should be grateful about it.

- Kind of a biased opinion if not archaic, don’t you think?

- I have a question…

- Shoot!

- What came first, God or mankind?

- That one is actually easier than ‘what came first, the chicken or the egg?’

- Very clever… what do you think?

- Mankind of course!

- Now that is indeed biased… aren’t you supposed to be the unbiased one?

- Well, sue me!

- Fine. Is God just a creation of mankind? Is it because our species has a consciousness that it has a need for God, or any other ‘supernatural’ being? How come it needs it so badly? I’ve read that it was an ‘evolutionary asset that helps human survival’. (Quote from ‘Belief and the brain’s ‘God Spot’.’ March, 10th 2009 – Independent.co.uk)

- So, science says mankind came first; good enough for me; move on then.

- Yes, but see, scientists are studying human brain and its responses. From this, they draw conclusions but their own brains – the scientists’ I mean – are conditioned the same way as their subjects, right.

- Admittedly, but you are not saying what kind of conclusions.

- They are saying that when asked about religion or God like beliefs, it is always the same part of the brain that is reacting. As I understood it; it is somehow pre-programmed in our brains whether we’ll believe or not.

- Well, we know that different parts of the brains relate to different action of the body, feelings, and scientists are discovering more and more every day about the human brain. So, such conclusions are not so farfetched.

- Indeed, but still: what does make their conclusions accurate? Regardless of their degrees – no offence intended here – their brains’ conditioning is actually disqualifying them as reliable researchers on the matter.

- What?

- They are human therefore unqualified.

- That is indeed pushing it to a ridiculous extent.

- Thank you.

- Not a compliment, but okay. Let me just ask you this: scientists know so much about the human body – and brain actually – that they can repair it, cure diseases and even modify its aspects. That alone should qualify them enough to know what they are talking about.

- Well indeed! They cannot, however, cure everything. They cannot mend dead bodies…

- Beside the point!

- What I am saying is that because, through experiments on ‘religious’ people or atheist ones, they are biased from the beginning. They can induce certain responses in the brain by asking the same questions in different ways accordingly to the kind of volunteers they are working with; scientists are conditioned – by their own beliefs or disbeliefs – and therefore influencing the expected responses.

- This is preposterous to think such a thing. You really have trust issues. Do you have any proof of what you are saying?

- That’s the thing. I do not have any. It is my belief only…

- You are then full of yourself!

- … Scientists are also saying…

- You mean, all of them are saying…

- Just some of them are saying that we are molecules assembled together and that our ‘self is an illusion’. In other words, we do not exist.

- Scary.

- Indeed! That would mean that you do not exist, my dear. That would mean that you are just a figment of my imagination which should also be an illusion at some point…

- You’d be in trouble without me if you actually existed, because following your own reasoning you’d not exist either. She would be without a self so…

- I’d exist and I’d be less confused if I were by myself.

- Now you are just being plain mean.

- That would also mean that we are just machinery ‘put’ here for some reason that nobody bothered programming in us. Worse than that, since the self does not exist, we would be in the perpetual search for purpose…

- Now wait a minute!

- I know, right! We could not do that without a self. If one looks for purpose one is looking to define oneself. A consciousness cannot do that alone… not without a self… not without a soul…

- I’m with you here. Buddhism is saying that we are the sum of our experiences. What do you suppose that means?

- We have really got to read up on that… It is fun to guess, but I need to think outside the box on that one. Anyhow, I’d like to quote Antoine Lavoisier, French biologist – also chemist, philosopher and economist – who introduced the old maxim: ‘Nothing gets lost, nothing gets created, everything transforms.’ (The origin of the maxim is said to come from Anaxagoras – 500-428 BC)

- Hence ‘everything is connected’.

- Exactly. Maybe we do not really know what the ‘self’ is and yet we think we do, because we were ‘conditioned’ through our ‘evolution’ to think a certain way.

- Religion?!

- Precisely.

- Therefore God…

- No! Absolutely not! God has nothing to do with religion.

- Well, maybe it has; especially if man came first.

- What if we did not?

- We’ll never know for sure and as you were saying, it is probably not in our best interest to know – either way.

- Let’s just leave it at that for now and hope we did not crush any sensitive toes today.

- Hear, hear! Let us hope then.

Good afternoon reader,

Have you ever noticed how often I am shut off? I mean, this is so outrageous that nobody pays attention anymore… to ME, that is. They used to call prophets to explain what I said, that’s how important I was. Now, they just ignore me… Once, this guy from Austria came along and did a lot of ‘hoopla-la’ to actually figure me out; he was sometimes right and sometimes completely off the mark… what was his name?

- That’d be Freud!

- Ah yes! Sigmund… That’s him… what a perv’ he was, don’t you think?

- Move on…

- Okay… so anyway, nobody can actually really figure ME out because I am pretty well hidden. The problem is that I do not always want to be so… my hosts (thanks to the Freud – or partly anyway) took the psycho-babble way beyond my expectations and they managed to decipher some of my secrets after years of therapy. I can say this, with such a speed to uncover ME, my mysteries are pretty safe.

- I thought you did not like that.

- No, no! I love that. My only problem is, even though I am allowed to talk to my heart’s content, not many are actually listening to me… they just make pretend, you know… just like HER whose typing right now… make pretend.

- You do know she can shut you off even more, right?

- She won’t do it. She’s a woman, she likes the likes of ME too much as I am unique; she is curious about ME and love the constant questioning…

- Well, that’s your voice on the line, not mine… if you want to be shut off from the program before it actually started; you’re on the right path buddy.

- Anyhow… no matter if I am heard or not, I am here to stay as long as there are humans. They can be without you, my dear Hope…

- Humans without hope, you mean?

- No… I mean, humans without a conscious-ness…

- Ooh! Clever…

- Don’t mind that; they still cannot be without ME… I am their inner voice, their ghosts; I control them with all the power of my mysteries.

- You wish! I thought you were supposed to be the wise one; what happened to the wisdom… did you trade it or som’hing?

- Butt out Hope! This is MY presentation. You had yours yesterday…

- Yeah, I say. By the way… what’s your name?

- I’m Catscious.

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